However, I still I think I’m one of the world’s worst in this area.  I want to be the perfect parent; I want Nathan to be the perfect child; I take his disobedience personally at times.  On my list of priorities, my role as a mother falls only behind my personal relationship with God and my role as a wife.  The rest of my family, involvement in ministry, my students…all of those are well behind my focus on parenting.

Recently, Christianity Today featured an article entitled, “The Myth of the Perfect Parent”, and it immediately caught my eye.  In part of the article, the author lists some bad parental examples found in the Bible; parents whose children are listed in Hebrews 11.  How can that be?  We also see the heart of the Father through God as He guides the children of Israel throughout the Old Testament.  Certainly He was perfect and they were far from it.

Leslie Leyland Fields says, “We must assume, then, that there is serious error in our beliefs about parenting.  We have made far too much of ourselves and far too little of God, reflecting our sinful bent to see ourselves as more essential and in control than we actually are.”  She suggests, that we must stop evaluating ourselves with “Am I parenting successfully?”, but rather ask “Am I parenting faithfully?”  In the example of the prophet, Ezekiel, she shows that God had given a job to him, telling him to give a message and be faithful, despite the hardness of the pepole’s hearts.  This greatly burdened and saddened Ezekiel, who wanted to see repentence from the Israelites.  Nonetheless, Ezekiel was not held accountable for the response of the people, rather only for his faithfulness and obedience to God.

According to Fields, “It is likely that we are asking the wrong questions as parents.  We are so focused on ourselves–on our own need for success and the success of our children–that we have come to view parenting as a performance or a test.  We cannot pass this test, I’m afraid, nor could we ever.  If we are graded on a curve, we will always find parents and children who are more obedient, more joyful, and more peaceful than we are.  If we are graded instead on an absolute scale–as I believe we are–we fail even more miserably.  But this is why a Savior was provided, and gifted to us through grace, through faith.  If even our ability to believe in God is given to us by God, then how much of parenting can we perform on our own?  We must proceed, then, on our knees first, beggars before the throne, if we are to parent well.

We must rethink our assumptions and our calling as well.  We are responsible to teach our children the fear of the Lord.  But we must be clear about our own limits.  We are not capable of producing perfect followers of Christ, as if we were perfect ourselves.  Our work canot purchase anyone else’s salvation or sanctification.  We will parent imperfectly, our children will make their own choices, and God will mysteriously and wondrously us it all to advance His kingdom.”

As I read this article, it was easy for me to see that my focus is in error at times.  As a mother, it is my responsibility to be obedient to God, teaching Nathan the fear of the LORD, and I must, as hard as it is, leave the outcome to God.  I’m thankful that He knows better than me and that things will work out better if I give my child to Him, rather than taking it all into my own hands.  It is much easier for me to give myself over to God than to give those close to me over to Him, but God is working on my heart, teaching me about trust and faith.

I really like the way the article concluded.  “We are not sovereign over our children–only God is.  Children are not tomatoes to stake out or mules to train, nor are they numbers to plug into an equation.  They are full human beings wondrously and fearfully made.  Parenting, like all tasks under the sun, is intended as an endeavor of love, risk, perseverance, and above all, faith.  It is faith rather than formula, grace rather than guarantees, and steadfastness rather than success that bridges the gap between our own parenting efforts, and what, by God’s grace, our children will grow up to become.”

My husband always says that he thinks it is better to read one verse and really meditate on it, allowing it to change your life and continue in your thoughts throughout the day, than to read a chapter without paying attention and then go on about your day without another thought given to what you’ve read.  This is a great principle. 

God’s Word is so powerful; I want it to change my life.  I want it to control my life, but how can  that happen if I don’t think on it?  Join me today in shorter reading and longer meditation.

Ingredients

Crust:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup finely chopped pecans
• 6 Tbsp. cold butter

Filling:

• 4 pkg. (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup plus 1 tsp. all-purpose flour, divided
• 2 Tbsp. heavy whipping cream
• 1-1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten
• 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips, melte and cooled
• 1/4 cup caramel ice cream topping
• 1/3 cup chopped pecans

Ganache:

• 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
• 2 Tbsp. chopped pecans (optional, I didn’t include this b/c I don’t like a lot of nuts in desserts)

Optional Garnish:  Pecan halves and additional caramel ice cream topping

Directions:  Place a greased 9-in. springform pan on a couble thickness of heavy-duty foil (about 18 in. square).  Securely wrap foil around pan.

In a small bowl, combine the flour, brown sugar, and pecans; cut in butter until crumbly.  Press onto the bottom of prepared pan.  Place pan on a baking sheet.  Bake at 325 for 12-15 minutes or until set.  Cool on a wire rack.

 In a large bowl, beat cream cheese and sugars until smooth.  Beat in 1/4 cup flour, cream and vanilla.  Add eggs; beat on low speed just until combined.  Remove 1 cup batter to a small bowl; stir in melted chocolate until blended.  Spread over crust.

Combine caramel topping and remaining flour; stir in pecans.  Drop by tablesponfuls over chocolate batter.  Top with remaining batter.  Place springform pan in a large baking pan; add 1 in. of hot water to larger pan.

Bake at 325 for 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 hours or until center is just set and top appears dull.  Remove springform pan from water bath.  Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  Carefully run a knife around edge of pan to loosen; cool 1 hour longer.  Refrigerate overnight.

For ganache, place chips in a small bowl.  In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil.  Pour over chips; whisk until smooth.  Cool slightly, stirring occasionally.  Spread over cheesecake.  Sprinkle with chopped pecans, if desired.  Refrigerate until set.  Garnish with pecan halves and additional caramel topping (optional).

However, I am so thankful that reaching my goal of a Sprit-filled life has little to do with me and much to do with Him.  While I do have to submit to God’s will, it is He who will guide me and show me what I need to do.  “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.”  (Galatians 5:16)

“In Paul’s vocabulary, to walk in the Spirit or be led by the Spirit means to go where the Spirit is going, to listen to his voice, to discern his will, to follow his guidance” (Timothy George, vol. 30, Galatians, electronic ed., Logos Library System; The New American Commentary Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2001, c1994).

So if I listen to the voice of God, discern His will, and follow His guidance, I will not fulfill the lust of my own flesh!  That is encouraging!  While this daunting task seems overwhelming at times, it is wonderful to know that it not impossible to resist my fleshly desiers.  It is possible to live life controlled, not by my own sinful flesh, nor by a man-made set of rules that my natural man is too depraved to keep on my own, but by the Spirit who is never wrong and who is all-powerful!

I guess the first step for us as Christians is to submit.  We must acknowledge own inability and rely totally on Him.  When we do so I think we’ll find that the outcome is always much better when our way is directed by the One who knows all things. 

What are some practical ways we can apply this to our lives today?  I’d love to read your feedback!

When I find that something is not going just right, my first (and totally incorrect) response is too often, “what can I do to fix this?”  While this may be okay in certain areas of life, to have this attitude in my spiritual life and in relationships with other is, quite honestly, prideful.

Consider this quote I read this morning while doing my devotions.  “What He has started in the Spirit will never get accomplished in our flesh.”  Ouch!  That’s hard for me to swallow, but once again God is teaching me the frailty of my flesh and I must, once again, admit that without Christ I am totally depraved.  My goodness, my righteousness is as filthy rags in His sight.

Now none of this has been to discourage you or me.  Remember, it is Satan who discourages.  The discouragement comes as we look at our situations and respond with worry, doubt, or self defeat.  Actually, this is good news for us!  Because God, who is all-powerful, can easily handle any situation in which we find ourselves. 

Our worrying comes from a focus on self and our inability to change things….it only sees the problem and our weakness.  Turn your focus from self to the Savior.  Then, instead of looking to the problem we can begin to look for the answer in the One who can do all things.  To take the weight of that pressure off and go to God with it is such a relief!

So today, made the decision that you will rely not on yourself, but on God’s strength.  When situations arise don’t try to fix it in your power, but seek His help.  Look in the Bible to claim His promises and seek wisdom for your life.

Freedom from the performance trap takes pressure off you and focuses our life correctly.  Simply, turn your eyes upon Jesus today.

So after a month has passed since my last blog, it was something I read in my devotions this morning that made me really want to return. 

Most of us will readily admit that we have imperfections; that we have a sin nature; that there is something in us that seems to automatically do what we know we shouldn’t.  We also have the head knowledge that despite that, and actually because of that, Christ died for us.  That is such a deep love, it is hard to truly comprehend.  Romans 5:7-8 says, “one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  That is a love far greater than I can even begin to explain.

Here’s the part that so challenged me this morning.  When we are commanded in the Bible to love, it is this same kind of love that is expected of us….true, unselfish, giving, serving, sacrificial love.  Many times, I find that if someone wrongs me and I don’t wrong them back, I feel as though I have “risen above” and done the right thing.  It’s almost like I believe that I have the right to hurt them or to “give them a piece of my mind.”  However, that is exactly opposite of the kind of love Christ has for us.  When we have done nothing but wrong to Him and have done nothing good in and of ourselves, He made a way for us to receive the greatest gift ever.  He didn’t strike back, and He didn’t stop at merely this refraint…He went above and beyond, because that’s what true love does.

So, if I love my family not only will I avoid wronging them and not only will I hold my tongue when they wrong me, but I will go the extra mile to demonstrate my love for them.  If I love my friends and Christian family I must follow that same principle.  If I desire to show His love to the unbelievers around me, I must not stop at not harming them.  I must do good to them.

This kind of demonstration of love requires extreme self-sacrifice.  “Although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant…He humbeld Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even the death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:6-8)  Only One could ever honestly claim equality with God; yet he became a servant, humbled Himself, and sacrificed for us because of His love for us.  We cannot even make that claim, but are unwilling to make sacrifices because we somehow feel that we have rights.  How very convicting!

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers…this is His command: to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.”  (I John 3:16, 23)

Lord, help me to love others today the way that You have loved me, with a deep, true, sacrificial love and that through this display of love they will be drawn to You.

So take some time today to think about all the things that you like about your spouse.  Think thoroughly through the 80%.  Make a list of those positive traits and meditate on them so that your attitude towards your spouse shifts more positively.  Even if you have a wonderful relationship, it’s very easy to take your spouse for granted.  After thinking through these things you’re thankful for, express your gratitude to your spouse.

Think about it, everyone wants to feel appreciated, especially by those we love the most.  Let your spouse know that he/she is appreciated!  80% outweighs 20% greatly!

KMart has some coupon booklets available with something like $62 worth of savings.  I looked through a list of some of the things included and it sounds really good.  So, the next time you’re in KMart, stop at the service desk and ask for one of them.  These are manufacturer coupons, so they can be used at any store; not just KMart.

Also, KMart will be doubling coupons again starting August 16th!  Check with your local KMart to see if they will be participating.

So yesterday during Nathan’s nap I made myself a decaf cinnamon dolce latte, turned on some jazz, and started taking inventory.  While I was doing that I threw out things and organized, too.  Being the nerd that I am, this was one of the highlights of my week!  I am a pretty organized person, but I honestly found things in the back of my freezer and pantry that I had forgotten I had.  When I completed my inventory I was kinda shocked how much I have on hand! 

Hip2Save posted some links from a site www.organizedhome.com where you could print off inventory sheets.  As I browsed around on this site I also found menu planners and several other beneficial FREE printables.  You should definately check this site out for some home organization tips.

I haven’t completed my menu planning yet, but I’ll post a comment about how that goes!  That will require some more planning and some organizing, which again, for a nerd like me, will be quite enjoyable!  =)

If he would have accepted a little help from me he would have been dressed much more quickly and would have done so without falling.  I couldn’t help but think that we must look just as ridiculous to God when we refuse His help.  We think we can do it on our own and we stumble all over the place.  However, if we acknowledge that without Him we can do nothing, and turn to Him for help and wisdom with each decision and situation, we will be able to see clearly.

So what about you today?  Have you taken time to acknowledge your dependence on God?  Have you asked Him to help you today or are you stumbling around trying to prove you can do it on your own?